Thursday, May 28, 2009

My job description in song

[To be sung to the tune of “My Favorite Things”]

Payroll reports that don’t have information,
HR procedures that cause huge frustration,
Phone calls and e-mails and IMs and pings --
These are a few of my favorite things.

HEAT forms and COOL forms and PERFORMS processes,
Handouts and copies and files to excesses,
The grants.gov site and the headaches it brings--
These are a few of my favorite things.

When the dean calls,
When the phone squalls,
When I’m too tired to think,
I simply remember my favorite things,
And then I just want a drink.

Committees and PrepLink and rewriting contracts,
DJFS and proposals with abstracts,
RFPs, boilerplates, funding with strings –
These are a few of my favorite things.

When the day’s work
Turns to homework,
When the world is mad,
I simply remember I’m not unemployed*,
And then I don’t feeeeel sooooo bad.


* Alternate line (depending on one’s mood):
I simply recall what I love in my job,

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

While in Massachusetts last week ...

... I was asked a fascinating question as we were talking with a local about where to go when the conference ended. She said we could find the place with Mapquest. Then she paused and asked, "Do you have Mapquest in Ohio?"

From Lina's Spanish class

"atras a mis solteros . . . "
(After my bachelor's degree . . . )

Thank you, Lina!

Saturday, May 16, 2009

Sigh ... just sigh.

From an ESL student's test this past week:
"In communication, men usually use quantitative way of speaking, by manupulating their mind while women cannot think critically about a situation when speaking, instead women are more fluent in verbal way of speaking than men."

Friday, May 15, 2009

Better problems?

Student sentence of the day: "Understanding the difference in the way men and women communicate is the beginning of establishing better problems between the sexes."

Sunday, May 10, 2009

While cleaning my home office...

... I've been finding some interesting bits I'd collected and misplaced (along with a lot of stuff for the recycle bin).

For example, there are these gems from my ESL 100 class in Spring 2005:

"I have a fear of height; as a result, I scare the high buildings."
       (It's probably best to get the jump on them by scaring them first, huh?)

"Don't forget to off your oven during the night."
       (I know he meant "turn off" ... but I get this mental picture of a gangland stove-slaying.)

"Did you ever been in war? Did you ever been in dungarees? I aske these qustion because I been in a lot of tragic setuation in my life."
       (I'm not at all sure what he meant by dungarees here. Dungeon? Danger? I don't *think* he considered blue jeans to be a form of punishment ... but I could be wrong.)

Saturday, May 9, 2009

A moment of giggles

I almost had uncontrollable giggles just now while grading an essay during a break in the class: "As the saying goes, 'if wishes were horses, buggers would ride.'"